Well I just finished reading Daniel 4, I missed a day or two, but that is okay, I will continue on. But today's thought wasn't from Daniel, it is from a verse my dad emailed me yesterday:
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.'" -Matthew 16:24 NLT
It is my selfish ways that has lead me so far from Jesus. Right now it's my selfishness vs. my desires. A battle within me that is not easy. My selfishness is my laziness, my stubbornness to want to be mad, my lack of priorities, my excuses, my game playing, and much more I'm sure. But believe it or not it's my guilt that is turning into a stronger desire.
Although my desire is becoming stronger my selfishness still has the lead. Why is that so hard for me? What is even more sad is that my selfishness is the biggest with God. With other people, I am more willing to stop everything for my friends and family then with my heavenly Father. My daughter comes 1st, my husband, my mom, my dad, my nephew, and my friends, then God. Wow, I'm all screwed up.
It almost seems like I use all those people as an excuse not to put God first. My thinking is so backwards. What am I afraid of, why am I holding back? Why does this, reading God's word and praying and doing good works, seem more like a chore, then a joy?
I would never consider myself as a selfish person, but maybe I have been lying to myself, maybe I refuse to see who I really am. I don't want to be a selfish person. I don't want to put myself and my excuses before my Lord. Please Lord help me to be that person, that selfless person You and I desire to be. Thank you Lord for Your patience.
So now I need to pick up my cross? What does that mean, "my cross"? Is that my sin? But why would I want to take my sin with me and follow Jesus? Can someone please explain this to me?
Thank you all for your time and prayers!!
picking up your cross means dying to your self and following Jesus. Making Him number one in your life. Thank you Jess for this wonderful reminder that I need to do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteRevelation 2:2-7 2“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
ReplyDelete‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’
I have been grately convicted of this lately. I have left my first love. I'm trying hard to come back and come first to Him. I want Jesus to be my best friend. I don't want to live a life where He is only there if I need Him. He came here for me. He wants to have a constant relationship with us.
I will be praying for you as you go through this adventure. :)
Here is something I just found again that I like to think makes sense to me anyway.
ReplyDelete"I must understand that the "cross" that He bore was not His own. IT WAS MINE! It was the horrible symbol of the future that Satan had in mind for ME, the symbol of the judgement for MY SINS! And Jesus willingly substituted Himself for ME and bore MY CROSS! If my judgement of death on my cross is to be cancelled in the substitutionary death of Jesus on my cross, I must take up my cross; that is, I must acknowledge my cross which is the righteous judgement against me, and I must pursue Jesus as His disciple! That is the meaning of Jesus' statement, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it."
from: FM Perry
When I first found this was when I came across this song from the Katina's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDReNcC6dC8
It is from a movie that I have not yet seen. I keep looking for the movie, unsuccesfully so far.